Your neighbor is learning to play drums? Her boss decided to pick on her clothes? And politicians, what do you think ?
Moaners of all nations, unite in song ! If you have something to complain about, join a Complain Choir ! Send your complaints by e-mail or regular mail, any topic is allowed. Participation is free and no need for prior knowledge about singing.
A complaints choir is doing exactly what the name suggests - it is a choir that sings complaints. What is special about the complaints choir, that anybody can take part - the only criteria is that people need to have something to complain about.
The political complaint is only representing a small margin of the wonderful world of complaints. Why should such important issues as broken underpants, boring dreams or spying neighbors be excluded? On the other hand the private, the personal, can be very political at the same time.
At the first meeting the freshly formed choir decides democratically on the content of the song. A local musician composes a tune for the text which is then rehearsed in 4 or 5 meetings. In the end the choir performs their collective grumbles at different locations in the city
The project started in Birmingham in 2005. The concept is "open source" and encourage people to organize their own choirs. Today there are Complaints Choirs in 70 cities from Alaska to Tasmania, in Singapore, Tokyo and Hong Kong. You can follow the "9 Easy Steps Method" from our website www.complaintschoir.org or find your own interpretation of the idea.
THE COMPLAINTS CHOIR OF SINGAPORE - LYRICS
We get fined for almost everything / Drivers won’t ‘give chance’ when you want to ‘change lane’/ The indoors are cold, the outdoors are hot;/ And the humid air, it wrecks my hair / Those answering machines always make you hold / Only to hang up on you /
When a pregnant lady gets on the train / Everyone pretends to be asleep / I’m stuck with my parents till I’m 35 / Cause I can’t apply for HDB / We don’t recycle any plastic bags / But we purify our pee /
What’s wrong with Singapore? / Losing always makes me feel so sore / Cause if you’re not the best / Then you’re just one of the rest /
My oh my Singapore / What exactly are we voting for? / What’s not expressly permitted / is prohibited /
When I’m hungry at the food court, I see / People ‘chope’ seats with their tissue paper / To the aunty staying upstairs: / Your laundry’s dripping on my bed sheets / Please don’t squat on the toilet seats / And don’t clip your nails on MRT /
Stray cats get into noisy affairs / At night my neighbor makes weird animal sounds / People put on fake accents to sound posh / And queue up 3 hours for donuts / Will I ever live till eighty five / to collect my CPF? /
Singaporeans too kiasu! (so scared to lose) / Singaporeans too kiasi! (so scared o die) / Singaporeans too kiabor!(scared of their wives) / Maybe we’re just too stressed out! (even the kids) /
Old National Library was replaced by an ugly tunnel / Singaporean men can’t take independent women / People blow their nose into the swimming pool / And fall asleep on my shoulder in the train /
Singapore’s national bird is the crane (the one with yellow steel girders) / Real estate agents’ leaflets clogging up my mailbox / Why can’t we be buried when we die? / No one wants to climb Bukit Timah with me /
There are not enough public holidays / My neighbor sings KTV all night / Wedding dinners never start on time / My hair is always cut shorter than I want / Channel 5 commercials are way too long / Why do men turn bad? /
At first it was to speak more mandarin / Then it was to speak proper English / What’s wrong with my powderful Singlish? /
People sit down during rock concerts / We have to pay for tap water at restaurants / ERP gantries are everywhere / But I can still see traffic jams on the road / All the bus stops have tilted benches to keep you off balance /